I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
