don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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