1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
