btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
