it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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