And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
