i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
