Plan B is the new Plan A
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need to calm my uterus...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
