I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
