It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
