yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
