after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
