How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's just like the Real World with babies
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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