I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
