how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
