I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize