8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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