When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
