That's intense
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
