I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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