I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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