I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
