I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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