drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
