You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Green mimosas i think yes
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
