Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
this beer tastes like vomit already
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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