my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize