Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
