i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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