you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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