Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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