HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
