# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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