Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The Olympian is in my bed
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
