Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
