it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just pee around me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
