i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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