u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There was a lot of him and a little penis
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
