Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
