You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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