i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
