he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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