Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
honey bunches of taint.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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