i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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