next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize