I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Congratulations! We have a period
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