The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize