I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
