Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
