Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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