I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
