Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
