So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
