how hairy? two words: wookie tits
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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