there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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