why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
