I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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