Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
