She said her name was "party"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
