Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
