who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize