Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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