They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
