it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
