pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
