you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
