We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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