I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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