You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
